An Untold Story

Mariam remembers the smile mostly, those dark penetrating eyes too, and how they softened every-time he smiled at her.  Though there’s more that was left undone in those few cold days of January 1995.
 

There was a big, sporty motorcycle parked in the alleyway of the entrance to her aunt’s house at Ananda Palit Road, Calcutta, India. Her aunt’s son, Mariam’s eldest cousin brother, was getting married.
Mariam is one of the younger cousins (16 years younger than the groom), and in the later years of her teens were thinking herself too “cool” to be a part of the traditional festivities that were happening around her.
So, her brother, another cousin brother and Mariam decided, they were going to explore the alley around her aunt’s house.
 
They came outside to find a huge motorcycle, shining bright in the glimmering winter sun. It stood mighty and strong, and the first thought that ran through their minds was, we want to take it out on a spin. It must feel so powerful to race that bike along the roads of Calcutta. And they wanted to feel that power…or at least Mariam knew she did. Instead, all they could do was walk around it and admire its beauty.
 
A few minutes later, the clever thought ran through their minds, that they could always take pictures of themselves with the bike. And show-off those pictures to their friends in high school, who would automatically believe the bike belonged to them. And that’s exactly what they did.
 
Mariam and her brothers took turns in various poses around that huge motorbike.
When her turn came, she was too finicky and insisted on trying different poses and wasting all that kodak film (Yes. This was way before the digital camera or the phone era).
Finally, after much trying, she got the pose she wanted and demanded her brothers click the shutter at her cue.
 
But she could never give her cue…as just when she stood with what she thought was the perfect pose, there was right across from her, walking in a confident stride, a tall, lanky, dark man. He stopped walking when he saw her and stood there looking directly at Mariam. His eyes…so penetrating despite those high-powered spectacles covering them. He stopped right there at the entrance of the small alley and stared right at Mariam with those eyes. She did not look away either. She’s an Aries woman, after all, she never looks away. Mariam stared right back at him. He stopped walking, and she stopped posing. They kept their gaze on each other for what seemed like an eternity but could have only been a few fractions of a minute.
 
From somewhere in the background, Mariam heard her brothers call out that he’s here, so they made a run into the house. She only looked away momentarily towards her brothers. When she turned back around, the man was gone. He had started walking again and walked right past her, without even a glance towards her direction. Instead, he kept walking until he entered his doorstop. And within a few minutes, he was gone. Just like that, with a snap of the finger, the first crush of her life was gone from her life. Mariam was just three months short of being 17.
 
Later in the day, Mariam found out that he is the son of her uncle’s best friend who also intends to be a doctor, an orthopedic, just like his father. She was amazed, as back then, the only goal in her life was to complete high school.
 
The following day, the traditional festivities continued in full swing again. Mariam’s mom was busy with the ladies. And instead of being busy with the wedding preparations, Mariam was sitting with her maternal grandmother.
From the back of the door, a middle-aged lady walked in. She was fair and of medium height, also quite thin. She was in very simple attire and had a light shawl wrapped around her shoulders. The lady glanced at Mariam momentarily and continued to go over to speak to the other ladies. After speaking to Mariam’s mom and her other aunties about some of the rituals, she asked Mariam’s mom to go upstairs to her place. Then she turned around to ask Mariam if she wanted to go as well. Mariam agreed as there was not much else to do around there. Together with her mother, Mariam walked up the narrow stone steps to the 2^nd floor, and into their house.
At the doorstep, a young lady greeted them and showed them some of the decorations she was making for the wedding. In fact, she was decorating all the items which would be going to the bride’s family as gifts from the groom’s side.
The older lady introduced the younger lady as her daughter. She was really pretty, of short height, and had a certain loveliness about her when she smiled. Mariam immediately formed a liking towards her, mainly because of the young lady’s warm smile.
 
Adjacent to the entrance door, there was a small bedroom to the left-hand side. The room was pretty small, but very well organized. And most importantly, it was really neat and clean. The walls were lined with shelves. On the shelves were numerous books. Mariam loved books, so she busied herself in looking through the titles. The younger lady asked her if she saw anything she liked. Mariam immediately said, I love books and would love to be able to read all of these. The young lady smiled and told her they were her brother’s who was due to return any minute shortly now.  She asked Mariam to go over to the dining room area where maybe if she was interested, she could help in the wrapping of the rest of the wedding presents in the colorful wrapping paper. Mariam reluctantly followed her out of the room. Not being able to read those books was a downer to her spirits.
 
Mariam’s mom, the younger lady, whom she came to call Didi, and her mother, whom she called Aunty, were busy talking about the wedding and various other topics when a few minutes later, the man from the motorcycle incident the previous day walked in. Didi announced, her younger brother Melech was home. Mariam was stunned. And looked at him, then immediately looked down back towards her fingers, pretending to be busy with the wrapping which was in process. He said his hellos to their mothers and went away to his room. He barely looked at Mariam though she did believe he was as astonished as her to find her standing there in his house.
 
There was a small window from the dining room which could look inside his room. Mariam was glancing towards the window every now and then, hoping to catch glimpses of him, while at the same time, trying to maintain her cordiality with the other ladies and continue wrapping the presents. The other ladies seemed quite oblivious to what was going through her. Her heart was pounding and racing inside, while she tried to keep a calm exterior. But on the inside, Mariam couldn’t figure out if she wanted to run away or continue to do what she was doing so she could maybe catch another sight of him.
 
A few minutes later, the landline phone rang, and Melech announced from inside his room that he would be picking it up. The phone was placed in a very tactical manner, on the wall of his room. From there, he would stand and be able to look directly at Mariam, while speaking into it. Mariam tried to look away when he answered the phone. He was smiling and laughing when speaking through it and she had a sinking feeling in her heart that maybe he was speaking to another woman. Of course, he could be, there was nothing wrong with that, now that she thinks about it in hindsight. But at that moment, she didn’t like that he was too friendly on the phone. It's fair to say, she was jealous.
But, then something happened. A few times, Mariam looked up at him and all these times, she caught him looking right back at her. She is not too sure now if she was blushing or smiling or simply looking back down at my hands. But she remembers him distinctly talking on the phone and looking towards her.
When he was done talking, he informed his mom and sister, that he had some things he needed to do, so he went out. He said his good-byes and just like that, he walked out. Mariam’s heart sank. She wanted to follow him. She wanted to speak to him. She wanted him to stay.
 
Over the next couple of days, every time she went over to her aunt’s place, she hoped she would be able to meet him again somehow. But it did not happen. Mariam even used to go to the shops outside the alley, just in case, she might bump into him. Of course, they didn’t meet this way either. Instead, she noticed that either the motorcycle was missing, or it was fully covered. Guess he didn’t like a bunch of kids playing around with his big boys’ toys. Mariam even asked her uncle who’s motorcycle it was when she found it covered on one of those days. Her uncle informed her it belonged to his friend (Melech’s father) but sometimes Melech would take it out. And additionally, Mariam need not think too much about it.
 
With the wedding functions all finally over, the cousins brought the new bride to her new home. The wedding reception party was due to be a couple of days later. Mariam didn’t have much else to do, except to look her prettiest. She was, after all, the youngest sister, and all eyes were on her as possibly the next in line to get married, despite the fact that she was not even 17! It was all for good humor and a huge ego boost. Guess everyone thought, Mariam would marry early, as her parents intended it that way for her.
 
On the evening of the reception party, the entire family had dressed up in all their finery i.e. clothes, jewelry, make-up, everything. Mariam thought she looked really lovely that evening. While at the party, she was bored as there was no one her age, except for her cousins, whom she could socialize with, and all of them being boys, she didn’t have much fun with them. So, Mariam sat with her maternal grandmother for a while. But, it was getting too boring for her there too, and she decided, she wanted to walk over to the garden where her dad and his friends seemed to be having a gala time.
 
When she was walking over to join them, she saw, coming in through the gates of the garden, the same tall, lanky, confident man with penetrating eyes. He wore a pair of jeans and a t-shirt nicely tucked in. Very simple, very smart. She immediately smiled and walked over and said hello to him this time. He smiled and said hello too. When he smiled at her, kindness filled his eyes. He was the most good-looking man she had ever seen, and his eyes were so dark and deep. She knew she had fallen head over heels for him already. And there was no way she was not going to stop speaking to him or leave his side the entire evening.
They spoke about a few things, mostly what seems like nonsense banter now. He spoke perfectly. But all she can remember is the both of them laughing a lot. And every time he laughed; the warmth would fill those penetrating direct eyes. Mariam could not go away from that smile.
 
While they were together a number of Mariam’s family members came up to them, and to each one of them, Mariam would introduce her Melech. Her family members would always find an excuse to take her away from him. She really hated them for it. Eventually, Mariam’s mother came, and she spoke to him too. She didn’t take her daughter away from him. A few minutes later, her dad came. He too spoke to Melech and instead asked Mariam if she wouldn’t mind sitting with her maternal grandmother for a while who was inside sitting alone while everyone was already busy getting dinner. Mariam was very attached to her maternal grandmother and could not bear to leave her alone. She took her leave from both her dad and Melech and continued inside into the reception hall. She turned around a couple of times and saw that both her dad and Melech were still talking to each other. She smiled silently to herself at the thought of that.
 
Inside, with her grandmother, Mariam complained to her how everyone was taking her away from Melech. Her grandmother was the most open-minded person she had ever met. She quite directly asked Mariam if she enjoyed his company and what Melech does for a living. She also taught Mariam that, for Indian families, it does not look nice if a young unmarried girl continues to talk to another young unmarried boy for the whole evening. And that is the reason why all her family members were taking turns to come to get her and find excuses to take her away from him. Mariam told her grandmother, that’s all well and fine. But Melech is there alone. He doesn’t know anyone else at the party. He only knows her, so she couldn’t possibly leave him alone could she? Her grandmother smiled at her sweetly and told her to go ahead and speak to him until the time would come for him to go home. Mariam gave her grandmother a big hug and kiss and immediately ran over to the garden to look for Melech.
 
Unfortunately, by the time she reached, she could only see the back of him. Melech was walking away from the garden and out the gates as she approached. He didn’t even stop; he didn’t even turn around. Mariam stood in her tracks in the garden and watched the back of the tall, dark, handsome man walk away from the party, from her relatives, from her…. away forever. She was so stunned; she didn’t even call out to him.
 
Over the years as Mariam progressed into adulthood, at every chance she got to visit her aunt’s house, she would linger in the alley, or go up to her aunt’s house and keep hoping that she would bump into him somehow. She would even linger around in the shops outside the alley with her cousin brother and sister-in-law and even sometimes with her uncle, just in case, by some unseen force, she would somehow manage to see him again. But it never happened. The moment was gone forever, never to return again.
She didn’t even have his telephone number or his email address…she didn’t have any way to ever reach out to him ever. She missed him a lot and she had no way of telling him that. She should have never left him alone even for a minute that night. She should have taken him with her to meet her grandmother. She should have done so many things…she kept on telling herself for years to come.
Until one day, she decided, what’s happened has happened and it may never come back again.
So, she should let it go.
He had a life to lead and there was no point in holding him back in her thoughts when he should be living the life he is meant to live.
 
Mariam is left with the memories of his eyes, his smile, and his easy and open laughter…..she has never until today met another man who is just like him. It has been 26 years exactly…..and counting.